Heading off to the Appalachian Trail Intro

I'll tell you what - after seeing Los Appalachian Trail, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place in early '09 - just about the time of our conflict with (insert insurgent group here).I'd like to mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about the hiking Dude here - the hiking Dude from Los Appalachian Trail. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the hiking Dude. The hiking Dude, from Los Appalachian Trail. And even if he's a rambling man - and the hiking Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the most rambling in all of Los Appalachian Trail, which would place him high in the runnin' for most rambling worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced him enough.